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I joined this crazy place on 2013-08-08, 10 years ago.

» save RRay as my FRIEND - HOSER

I Ride a Goldwing and Triumph motorcycle. I am an accomplished Sniper... Here is a little bit about me.... Well I am an incredibly handsome hunk a testosterone laden manliness.....sorry Ladies.........I am taken. My wife is so damn lucky. I am a professional yo-yoer... Having stunned audiences worldwide with my awesome displayes of athletic yo yo abilties, I have become a legend within the anals of yo yo dum.... On weekends I moonlight doing complex brain surgeries at Baylor, and for fun I do the occassional breast augmentation at the dixlextic institute for the anerexic. I am very consistent. If left alone I can sleep continuously for up to 12 hours.. Utilizing the pinto bean recipe I previosly posted, I have sucessful trained my sphincter's to play an entirely recognizable rendition of 'Whistling Dixie' along with the side benifit of tickling your nose hairs... I also like to solve simutaneously 3 rubics cubes at once. One simply bores me. I am wholely responsible for the financial collapse of 3 major banking institutions. I am very environmentaly conscious...I once went 37 days without a bath saving over 13,453 gallons of water. I have discovered the cure for earwax buildup, toe cheese elimination, dandruff, and crotchrot. In the process I have also found an excellent new salsa type of keso dip. I once completely remodeled Bush Airport on a lunch break, reducing wait times by half, and increasing efficiency by a factor of 4. I teach Russian immigrants ethnic slurs and finger solutes so that they may curse the Mexkin drivers right along with the rest of us. Recently I have also accepted the Checks, and a few french. I am an awesome cook. I can cook 3 minute oatmeal in 30 seconds, 5 minute rice in one. I am an accomplished builder, carpenter, metal worker and accomplished artist in Sheetrock mud figurines. Critics around the world swoon over my line of fur lined man-bras. Children trust my, dogs love me....and women swoon as I walk by......(its a curse) I can hurl full bottles of Henikens t small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once saved 343 people on an airliner (the day I remodeled at Bush Airport on my lunch break) by hitting a stuck landing gear and thus freeing the mechanism. I was yet awarded another medal of honor and the marksmanship award from the Heniken Hurling Society. Last week on a saturday I read the entire works of William Shakespeare and still had time to pressure wash my driveway. I have every items location in Wal Mart Atascocita committed to memory. Its aggravating as I still receive a call every now and then when they are looking for something they cannot find. I once knew what the meaning of life was but I met Duflotchy and then forgot. I have played guitar with the Beatles, gone 3 miles down in the ocean, seen 4 UFO's, and met Elvis. I can tile with the best of them, and my ceiling murals are to die for. I once single handily defended a Republican from a horde of angry liberals using only a rolled up Copy of Rush's Magazine and a tube of KY Jelly...Now you just have to imagine the rest as it really got ugly after that.... Normal laws for mere mortals do not apply to me. I breed prizewinning leeches in my aquariums, known the world over.. But enough about me. I could go on.. But I don't want to appear to brag... And on the rare occasion, I have posted maybe once or twice on this forum.

latest comments

Howdy Folks - 8 years ago

Thought I would pop in and say hi. Its been a long time!

^New word for us seniors... - 8 years ago

Ok, now that is good!

Truly blessed- - 9 years ago

Let us know when you can pee standing on one leg.

Gas is cheap down here. - 9 years ago

whats sad is that we think 287 is a deal when it should be less than a dollar if you take all the friggin tax off.

School Breakfasts - 10 years ago

couple eggs over easy toasted buttered bagel 4 pieces of bacon hash browns glass of Oj grapefruit sections

Yard mowing at 6:30AM on a Saturday - 10 years ago

I dont think its rude at all. Do it all the time. I'm up, everybody should be up. You can sleep when your dead. ;)

Things that drive you crazy - 10 years ago

Just one......that damn moron occupying the white house pretending to be a president.

If you named a gang after Obama, what would you call it? - 10 years ago

I dont know why fab five is being so mean. This is derogatory to Dumf*cks everywhere.

I have plenty of extra in case anyone wants any - 10 years ago

Still stink.

I have plenty of extra in case anyone wants any - 10 years ago

*^%*(&^friggin red ants..... [img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__atKmt4txJE/R4vPcBpKKjI/AAAAAAAAAcU/P4MGysFiZfc/s400/Fire%2BAnt%2BLeft%2BFoot%5B1%5D_edited.jpg[/img]

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